What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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