You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
