tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
