Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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