I think i peed on brittanys purse
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
