I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
