for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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