ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
