i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I look better un-naked...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
