just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
