My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
