i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
