My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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