Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
