If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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