why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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