So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
