I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
