The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
