remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
