please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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