and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
