I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
where are you?
Hypothermia
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
