:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
