No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
