dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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