i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
