when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
