We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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