peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
