I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
