the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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