morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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