yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just forgot I was standing up.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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