I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
