giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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