even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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