just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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