Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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