i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
