Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
