we have pet lesbian snakes
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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