I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
