so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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