This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
