I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
