I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
