im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
