i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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