I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
