No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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