plz talk dirty to me
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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