dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
