apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
